This is Flashism, a blog to detail the best and worst of flash game finds from around the internet. Our crack team of flashists will link you to games of all shapes and sizes, playing their way through through the shit so you don’t have to.
First and foremost we love flash games. Can’t get enough of ‘em. Between us we have waaaaaaaay too much time on our hands and such a long history of all types of gaming that we feel confident we can’t help but provide you with the map to the buried treasure of the best and the worst of the flash game hinterland. We’ll be bringing you regular updates with what we’ve uncovered, so subscribe to the blog so you don’t miss our latest rants and raves.
Labuat are a Spanish music band who I know virtually nothing about, other than I picked up the link to this little flash delight from one of those blogs that trade in the currency of weird and wonderful weblinks.
Oh wow I’ve been lazy recently. But here it is, another review. Not a H-game this time as it’s a Monday afternoon and tentacles
don’t really appeal right now. Wat? Are you feeling OK? Yes, I’m fine, don’t worry there will be another one but todays theme is
Super Kawaii Neko Flash Madness. So be warned, things are about to get a little bit pinker, and a little bit 80’s. Intrigued?
I Google searched ‘kawaii flash games’ and found http://www.nitrome.com/, just what I was looking for..Super-cute web games
in bright colors, playing similarly to old-school video games from the 80s and 90s. Lots to choose from but we want neko games
(Thats Kitteh games to any none Wapanese speakers).
I will warn you know, this game has eaten almost every second of my spare time in the last 72 hours. It got under my skin in a way that not many games have before.
What we have here is a physics game. You are presented with an object around which you must construct your Fantastic Contraption from the various tools available to you, making sure that it’s fit to get to the goal zone by negotiating whatever obstacles, puzzles and landscapes that are put in front of you by the devious level designers .
Heil, fellow Flashists. It’s time for another Rapid Fire Round, and this time we’re exploring the weird little sub-genre of shoot-em-ups called denmaku, curtain fire, barrage or simply Bullet Hell. Bullet Hell was originally invented by the Japanese, who decided that videogames should not just be a form of entertainment, but some kind of brain-melting, eye-twitching Herculean goddamned quest. As the name suggests, there’s a lot of bullets on screen. Like, seriously, a lot. So much so that, compared to other shoot-em-ups, the main part of your concentration is not on shooting down enemies, but navigating a way through a ridiculous pattern of bullets. These games sometimes have complex scoring systems, based on combos or ‘grazing’ bullets (sometimes you need to be shot at a point directly at the middle of your ship, and ‘grazing’ a bullet with a wing or somesuch actually gives you more points) and are frequently unforgiving, killing you witha single hit. Unfortunately, this genre is not exactly well-represented in the Flash format, with many of these games being impossible-to-find Japanese PS2 imports that you have to remortgage your house and suck off the guy behind the game store counter in a back alley to get ahold of. However, I’ve tracked down a few that might draw your attention.
I’m not dead, just lazy. I’ve been playing games and not telling you about them. Sorry. I figured it was about time I brought you at the very least a short lazy review of a short simple game. So here we have Cursor*10, a short, simple game.
My fellow flashists are clearly a sloth-like bunch of good-for-nothing low lifes, so I bring you this. The Torture Game. The squeamish should look away now, because this isn’t really for the faint hearted. We’re going to take a poor man, initially suspended by two ropes from the ceiling, and we will inflict as much pain and suffering on him as we can.
I’m going to kinda take a leaf out of BigPoppaCreamy’s book here, and instead of bringing you just one review, this will be a compendium of sorts. This is a site review rather than a review of an individual game. The site calls itself ‘Irritating Games’, so on that basis I am going to eschew the traditional 5 star rating system, and instead rate each game on a Rage Scale.
The premise of this game is straightforward. You have an Arkanoid stylee paddle, a tilting ledge thing, and two balls. Lose a ball and you’re dead. Keep it going as long as possible.
Easy, right?
Wrong.
Moving the paddle moves the ledge. Moving the ledge moves the paddle. So a sharp movement of the mouse sends the ball on the ledge careering towards oblivion. A minor correction on the ledge means you’re gonna miss the accelerating bouncing ball and get killed dead.
