Dildo Heroine

Welcome to the second instalment of the H-Review. Another lonely Saturday night? Don’t worry, this game will have the time just flying by.

Story Mode

The intro is very cute and funny (and quick to skip if you just want to get that dildo action going) so I’ll briefly talk you through the story if that’s the case. Meet Muny. She’s a singer, a hot singer at that. She’s just recorded her new album and takes it in to the directors office and places it on the desk….

“What is this shit?”

He clearly not impressed, drops trou’ and promptly does a big poo all over it,  and then proceeds to turn into Satan and vomits all over it too. Must have been a good album eh? ‘What do you mean?’ say Muny with her huge puppy-dog eyes. He berates it a bit more and then tells her she needs to go and re-record all the vocals with energy and ‘fucking passion’.
Fucking passion? I think Muny takes this the wrong way, as she grabs her dildo (not her guitar) and storms off to the recording studio.

This what you’ve been waiting for right pervs? And here are the instructions before you all run off to play it without even knowing what the aim on the game is:

It’s pretty simple. The Orb thing is the microphone and every time you hit a chord to get some kind of rhythm going, Muny moans and thus remakes her album with the emphasis on ‘fucking passion’. There are combos and stuff to complete, which is a bit tricky but enjoyable. The only bad thing was that there’s no song or set beat you are supposed to be playing so it doesn’t ever sound very aurally pleasing. You have a certain number of ‘lives’ where you can miss a chord before its game over.

Arcade Mode

Win the biggest Golden Dildo and a place on the leader board! You have the chance to put your very own user-name into a global ranking, how exciting! There are no lies to lose, no timers, just you and Muny trying to moan your way to the top. I guess if you played this mode for a while there’s probably some kind of knack for getting the combos and stuff, but I didn’t bother, I just pissed about on it for a while after seeing how high some of the scores were.

Overall, I really like this game. It’s one you can come back to and give it some more pounding. Like I said earlier though, it would have been nice to have some proper songs to play. I like the leaderboard idea for a hentai game, it’s about the only interaction some of these people are going to get after all. And if you *really* like this game you can even download it to play when you can’t get your grubby little fingers on an internet connection. Which probably isn’t often, is it?

Tragique gives this game 3/5

Play Dildo Heroine here http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/464864